The last four months have been one hell of a ride as a new mum! You tend to think you have read enough and talked to everyone you know to prepare yourself (as much as you can) as to what happens when you become a first-time mum. But that’s never the case, is it? Once you have that gorgeous little bundle of joy in your arms everything has changed forever! For the better of course. My little Tomas makes us so happy and couldn’t be happier becoming a mum. I truly love it! We’ve had our ups and downs, but we are very lucky with our little boy, especially because we’ve barely been deprived of sleep (well, for now, I’m guessing once teething starts that will change!!) and probably that was one of my biggest fears of how I was going to cope with the lack of sleep. But all turned out much better than expected. Well almost. When it comes to me, it has taken quite a bit of adjustment. I feel much better now, but at first, I just couldn’t recognise myself.
The last four months have been a bit of a challenge for me. Even though giving birth has been one of the most exhilarating and exhausting experiences I have ever had and as much as I absolutely adore my son, I lost myself in the process. My every day was changing nappies, breastfeeding or breast pumping, eat, try to get some rest, do housework, start all over again. Barely time to even shower! Sound familiar? Of course, we all go through this as there is no other way but we do it with all the love in the world for our little bundles of joy. I was even lucky to have plenty of help around me yet somehow I still felt sad and couldn’t explain why. I didn’t have post natal depression as such, I was just trying to be the best mum I could and simply trying to find myself again in the process.
As a New Mum my body completely changed, I had gained about 16 kilos (post birth), had a new big belly and had nothing that would fit me except maternity clothes. I had loved my pregnant body, I embraced it, flaunted it and couldn’t get enough of it until the last 3 weeks before my baby was due and I was ready for him to get out!
Once he was out all I wore all day were baggy tops, full of his vomit (most of the time), leggings and whenever I saw myself in the mirror I was having a hard time to find myself. I felt ugly and embarrassed. I had nothing that would fit me properly anymore. This was so hard. Every time we would go out (which wasn’t often but would get so excited, even if it was to do groceries!) I dreaded the idea of choosing what to wear. That’s right, even for a personal stylist to admit that is not easy. But it happened to me, I guess because it was my first time and had no idea what to expect afterwards, now if we were to have the second one I will most definitely be more prepared. So I made a decision, with all the things I had learned about embracing your body just as it is and understanding my life as a new mum, I allowed myself to feel this way, because it happens to the best of us, and then changed my mindset and personal style. After 5 weeks giving birth, I drove my car for the first time to Kmart, bought myself new clothing that fitted my new body and my new lifestyle and felt simply amazing! It simply transformed the way I felt about myself. I didn’t spend a fortune but those pieces of clothing were able to make me feel great about myself again.
My style philosophy has always been about helping women discover their style, understand their bodies, embrace themselves to live a happier life. The better you feel about yourself and how you look, the more confident, powerful and happy you will be and in consequence a much better mum for your child.
So here are my 4 tips to help you feel like yourself again as a new mum:
- Embrace your new body – You just made a human being!! be proud of yourself, you are amazing!! you just created a little miracle and it’s totally ok to not recognise your body at first, you have been through a lot! Allow time to go by and for your body to recover. Some take longer than others and that’s totally ok. All bodies are different. Have a look at your new body, love it and understand its new shape.
- Outfits for every occasion – you have a new shape and new lifestyle so make sure you have your mama outfits for home and that you are happy to get drenched in vomit, but also make sure to invest in new clothes that will make you feel great and you can wear when you get out of the house, even if its a trip to the shopping centre. You will feel like a human being again and that’s so important!
- Don’t spend too much money on new clothes – We can be tempted to go and spend lots of money on new clothes because we need them, but the truth is you may not wear them for a long time if you are planning on losing the baby weight, so my advice is to keep it simple. Places like Kmart and Target have great clothes offerings and for all kinds of sizes. I bought two pairs of denim, black and blue jeans, about 5 tops to mix and match, a playsuit and one dress. Spent less than $200 and now feel like a million bucks!
- Pamper yourself or do something for yourself – I started feeling like me again when I went out by myself shopping and also when my partner took care of the baby so I could get a mani and pedi done. Whether is that or do exercise or spend time reading, catching up with a friend, having a glass of wine, whatever is that makes you happy then go do it! When I started doing this, I felt the difference.
I hope you enjoyed this post about my experience of becoming a mum, there is still lots to be shared as there were all kinds of other challenges but I’ll leave that for other posts! Would love to hear what your experience was like, so please feel free to share in the comments below.
If you are needing a hand to find your style and yourself again, check out my styling packages for more details.
